10 years in MN (Part 3)
Also, in the same year, DB got laid off and that was where all hell broke loose. Could not remember how many times we were arguing. Here I am trying to get a degree and he was all depressed about losing his job. His drinking was already bad enough, but after being laid off, it went downhill. I swear to God, I wanted him dead. His only remedy to stay sane, according to him was booze. He was so boozed up, I gave up in trying to console him. My only way of staying sane was running and smoked like a chimney. I ate but didn’t have the appetite. Seeing DB feeling sorry for himself and was angry all the time, drove me up the frigging wall. Told his daughter it was no sense coming over to see her dad. She will be sick to the stomach.
Like it was not bad enough as money was already running low because DB could not apply for unemployment due to him on severance, Ranger had to go to doggie ER. That cost us a bomb $3K. DB took whatever savings he had, even his 401K to pay for medical bills. We could not give him back to his breeder. The bond was there between us.
I was still enrolled at UOP for my fall classes. DB was still drinking away. Whatever money that was left and credit card bills were piling. Asked him if mortgage bills were paid, he said yes. I was doing my class assignments, and DB would be drinking and watching DVDs and I would here thuds here and there everyday. Initially I was concerned, I would run out to see what happened, but after a while, I got sick of it. DB did it to himself from drinking. I didn’t give a rat’s ass. The only time I went out to see what the hell was going on was he felled on the coffee table and blood was gushing from his hand. He didn’t want to go to the ER, so I had to tend to him. Thought that would taught him a lesson, but hell no.
His drinking continued. He even called me at work to stop and get him booze. I thought I should not get him any, but if I didn’t, I would get a good a fight with him. So I did. He would past out all the time and was hardly eating. I would be out running with the boys and stopped over at our friend’s house, Dok and Dorothy, have couple of smokes and told them what the hell is wrong with DB.
On July 1, I went over to the friend’s house as she told me to, I told them that DB is getting worse day by day. Dok said he will stop over the next day to chew DB’s ass. I said “Please, do so.” When I got home, DB was already out to hell. Took my shower, did my Pilates and went to bed. In the morning, July 2 before I left for work, DB was up which was very unusual, told him Dok will be coming over in the afternoon. I left the house in a heart beat. Could not stand him no more.
I was happier at work, glad to be at work and hated the thought of going home to the brewery. At 1 pm got a call from DB’s cellphone and it Dorothy. Told me I better come home now. Told me that DB collapsed, laying on the floor and could not move. When I got home, I had to call paramedics; cops came and paramedics finally came without the siren on. His alcohol level was so high, he could have died. He was pickled good.
Took him to Fairview Ridges and he was in detox and was on heavy duty drugs to knock him out for his withdrawals. It was hell. The thoughts of leaving him came in again, but now he hit rock bottom, finally. I hung on – marriage vows, you know, for better or worse, till death do us part.
I went through the whole house – clean it and got rid of the brewery smell. Went through the bills that were all over the basement. It was bad. Statements from credit collection agencies, mortgage company, county Sheriff office for sale of foreclosure, you name it, we were in deep shit. Called my boss and asked him what I should do. He told me to call a bankruptcy attorney and file for one.
At the same time, I was back and forth the hospital and home settling utility bills before they cut them off. Search the entire house for booze bottles. Search the web for alcoholics’ co-dependency. Went for alcohol co-dependent meetings and work at the same time. Packed a bag and left it in my office for just in case thing. DB was discharged after 8 days in the hospital but had to go for his PT/OT rehab. He was admitted at the rehab after much persuasion. He spent 5 days at rehab.
The day he got home, he was a changed person. I repeated to him that if he drinks again, I will be out of the house as I’m not going through this crap again. I think it hit him too how much I had done for him when he was in the hospital and rehab. I could have left him at both places by himself.
January 21st, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Can’t wait for part 4.
January 22nd, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Now i get a clearer picture. Never told me also when u came back.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Samm – didn’t know where to start. Too much happened at one go.