Life with the Three Crazy Dogs

One year and an hour ago, I received a call informing me my father had passed away, a very sudden death.  I still remember vividly the conversation, the tone of my voice and what I did that night.

One year ago I thought I would have had the chance to see my father again as  planned but it didn’t happen.  I still remember our conversations during the 1.5 weeks he was in the hospital.  The last few days before his death, the conversations were more brief since he had a feeding tube in his throat.

It’s still very hard to write about it and I keep thinking of my father all the time.  I am still holding on to the Father’s Day card I had bought for him last year, all ready to be mailed out except for the postage.  It didn’t even get to leave my desk and is now tucked away together with my other stuff at work.

I know the day will come when I will finally see him and be together again.  There are a lot of things that reminds me of him so much.  But I keep telling myself not to hold on to those old stuff, move on and keep him in my memory. The memory of him and I together is when he, my mom, sis and family sent me off at KLIA December 8, 2007, the last time I saw him.  I had never cried so much that night, and tears are still flowing right now.

Then I think of my mother.  She says she is coping well now.  I’m sure it’s extremely hard for her but she sure knows how to keep herself occupied which is good to know. There is feeling in me that kills me knowing she is alone in the house.  Just maybe one day I can go back to Ipoh again.  It will not be next year, however, I hope it would be the following year.

As of now, I will forever cherish those memories I have of my father.  May his soul is resting in peace and our Lord Jesus Christ be with him always and forever.  Amen.

I miss you very much, father, and love you always.

Your daughter,

This is the first year I didn’t send or call my mom on Mother’s Day. Sad isn’t it? The reason is I have not set up my PC or internet service in our new place. We are only “stealing” wireless connection from the neighbors using DB’s ancient Flintstone laptop. (I call my mom on Skpe which is 100 times cheaper than my cellphone.) I wanted to get my mom Estee Lauder’s eye wrinkle cream but I didn’t even get it. Top priority was to get moved I guess. I know my mom understands it. Last year this time that’s when my late father was getting ill but not too bad. I mailed out my mom’s MOther’s Day card to my dad’s PO Box and turns out my dad and my mom had not gone of the house for weeks becoz of my dad’s back pains. I kept reliving this time last year – the emails, text messages and posts and then the Father’s Day card I was going to mail out the first week of June last year but didn’t happen. Time is definitely running along fast, sad to think back but life still goes on and look towards a brighter day every day.

DB arrived home on Sunday, earlier than I thought.  He and I thought he will stay on in TX for a few more weeks, just to see if there are any calls for interviews on the jobs he had applied for.  So far just one company sent an email requesting for EEO (equal employment opportunity) information (race, gender, DOB) but these are voluntary.  An application do not need to answer them if they think it’s not applicable to give the company this information.  Anyways, he called Northwest Airlines (NWA) if could change the dates on his tickets.  NWA rep said, yes, he could but there will be a $100 surcharge for the change.  I guess I left it up to him to decide what to do.  It was 50/50 for me.  He decided he wants to come back.

Besides that, DB said he was having very bad allergies both indoor and outdoor.  There are 2 cats in the mom’s house.  He is allergic to cat dander.  He thought he could walk out and get a breather, but then there is a Russian Olive tree that is giving him major allergies.  Then of course, is the whole uninvited clan being in the house almost every day.  The clan of 6 have to come over to the mom’s house for showers.  Why leh?  This is so sad….coz where they are currently staying, at one of their sister’s friend’s place, has no hot water.  The propane tank is empty, no money to refill it.  So, the clan will come trooping in to mom’s for showers and will stay on for the rest of the day.

Now, here comes the kicker.  He started drinking beer while he was at his mom’s.  I assume it’s not just one coz numero uno was never his number.  I didn’t even bother to ask him how many he had.  I’m just glad he is out of that place, and I think the reason why he wanted to get his butt back to MN was because he does not want to keep drinking and have a relapse.  Of course I was bummed, so bummed I could not sleep that Sunday.  He told me yesterday, Monday, don’t worry about it.  He is not drinking now since he has been back and will stay dry. 

I think I am still an enabler, just like his mom, maybe.  It really sucks to even think that once being a co-dependent, it might probably stick in you forever.  But I made him swear to not start his boozing again.  I asked him what his mom said when he had his first beer.  She said, “Are we driving you crazy yet?”  DB told me the house is a nut place.  Please going in and out like a hotel.  There are at least 9 people in the house everyday.  Teenage girls PMS-ing at the same time and not picking after themselves in the bathroom.  I can just imagine the bathroom!!!  Gross!! :(

Now he is back home, he is darn happy; he can breathe, he said.  And he is back doing the stuff I have been doing – house chores, cooking and taking care of the boys!

Remember the FitFlop sandals I bought for my sister? I mailed it out to her last week Saturday.  The United States Postal Service (USPS) eliminated surface mail a year ago.  It really sucks coz it is way way more expensive to mail parcels to Malaysia or Singapore by Air Mail.

What I included in the parcel besides the sandals are gummy bears, cookies, chocs, dried cranberries, Splenda for my mom, some kind of nuts and some instant noodles for packing purposes.  The entire contents I totaled them as $105 and the USPS guy said the insurance that comes with the mailing was $106, which is way more than my monthly payments for my life insurance from work.  It will take 1 week to get to Spore.   I was rushing to mail the package off, I forgot to get a birthday card for my mom since my mom is in Spore with my sis for now.  Dang it.  Oh well, I will have to get her a card this weekend and mail it out right away.  Although I’m not sure if I should coz my mom mentioned to me not to get her anything for her birthday this year.  Her birthday is on September 23.  Well, I will have to ponder over this a bit.  Anyhoo, I hope my sis will get the package soon coz I can’t wait to see that pair of FitFlops on her!

DB said he is being spoiled by his mommy.  That’s good, after all he is really mommy’s boy, first born, and mommy always comes to him for problem solving issues! 

It has been 1 week plus since he left MN.  Still hunting for a job.  The best part is, it’s just not him who is looking for a job in his family.  His younger bro was laid off last Monday.  On top of that, their second younger sister and her hubby who lived in Wisconsin (the state next to Minnesota) packed up the whole family (4 kids) in 3 vehicles and drove down to Texas to their mom’s house.  They must have packed up and left the home just like that, drove all the way to the mom’s without prior notice.   Yep, they just showed up at her mom’s out of the blue. 

DB said mom was LIVID!  He said her BP must have shot up to 200/100, temperature went up to 102 F, at least!!  I totally don’t blame her at all for an additional 6 people in her house asking for a place to stay and money.  Her house is over the rim, too, all 4 bedrooms occupied with 6 adults,  3 kids and a 17 year old.  DB and the two sisters already living in the house were about to explode, too, when the that sister and her family showed up with no notice.

MIL said at least have some common courtesy, give her a call in advance, get her prepared, not a heart attack!  No shit!  The old lady is already 80, give her a break.  MIL had to kick the uninvited troops out of her house shortly after they arrived coz the first thing they asked for was money.  MIL said she is not made of money, and money don’t grow on trees for her.  The uninvited troops went to the other sister’s house to stay for now.

Now there are 3 jobless peeps looking for jobs in TX.  The younger sis’ hubs is looking for a job.  He was laid off, too.  If I remember right he was a car salesman.  DBs said younger sis registered her kids for school this fall which is just next month, school reopens!  In other words, they ain’t going anywhere.  They are staying in TX for good.  What is DBs going to do?  I told him to hang in there, keep hunting for a job and worse comes to worse, go over to the younger bro’s house and stay there for the time being. 

I’m praying hard DB will find a job in TX.  I want to get out of MN, the high-tax eating state.