Life with the Three Crazy Dogs

DB got home on July 16, 2004. Once he was home, he got into business. I told him we have to file for bankruptcy asap before collection agencies garnish my wages. He agreed to my plan, and I called up several attorneys to check out their fees. I settled with a Mr. Radke to file for bankruptcy.

In the meantime, DB applied for unemployment. He was able to now because his severance had ended. It was nice to have the second income to help with bills. DB was also looking for jobs in the papers and applied to them left and right. In the end, he found a job in Bloomington right across the Mall of America. He started work in September. Was I glad and he was still sober.

At the same time we called up our former neighbor who is a realtor to put the house on the market. Putting the house on the market was a pain – cleaned the house almost everyday, pickup my clutter, got rid of stuff displaying on cabinets, and stuff on the counters. We had the house on the market in August and had quite number of showings but no sale. Damn. Our deadline for the foreclosure sale was coming up, January 15, 2005. We had to get the house sold before the deadline.

Finally, early December, the house was sold to a family of young kids. We also started looking for houses to rent. Can’t rent apartments because we have 2 big dogs. No townhomes either. We can’t buy another house because our credit history was down the drain, I mean it was really down. Can’t apply for any credit cards or loans. We saw a few homes for rent but they were in terrible condition. Finally, we saw an ad for a house to rent in Apple Valley. Yeah, called the landlord and saw the house. Rent was more expensive because the house was a newer house and situated right in the heart of conveniences. We moved in the day after Christmas of 2005.

Furthermore, in November of 2005, I started to cut down on my smoking since DB quit drinking….not a drop. I thought if he could do it the hard way, I would do it. Actually, he didn’t really do it the hard way. He was all doped up and could not remember a thing when he was in the hospital. What the heck, I cut my smoking down from 8 a day for a week, 3 for three days and then 1 a day for about a week and eventually I told myself I’m not relying on 1 a day anymore. That was it, I completely got rid of my cigis even the ones I have left in the freezer were given to my step-daughter. Smoke-free but then I had to go through the withdrawals. It was tough, you know, the usual dizziness, cough to get rid of the crud in me, tiredness, the urge to pick a pack when I’m at the gas station or grocery store, jittery and constantly wanna eat!!

The first week was the worst, however, the second week was pretty smooth sailing. I was munching on a lot of celery and apples, but still, I was eating like crazy. I could taste food that are sweet again, and had frozen yogurt with DB every night after our dinner. He eats frozen yogurt to curb his urge to drink. So, we were both on the road to recovery.

We settled in the new house pretty quickly. The boys were lost for a while, ultimately they knew that was their home. The new home was a little smaller, so we had all our unused stuff store in the basement 2nd bedroom. We knew we were going to live in that house for a year, why unpack all the stuff. We only unpacked what we needed.

I continued to run in pain but not everyday because I had bursitis on my Achilles tendon. That was horrible. My knees too were hurting. Had to rub “Jeng Kuat Shui” on them every night. DB said it smells like Bengay factory in the house. Whatever works. The doc told me to stop running and walk. Walking was a drag to me. Too damn slow and no kick to the adrenalin. I was itching for my knees to get well and the Achilles tendon to heal. It took forever, like 2 months. So, the pounds piled up. Could not fit into my size 0s and 1s anymore. Out to the store I went and bought new pants, shorts and sweaters. I detest seeing myself so full of meat. However, everyone told me I look so much better with meat on me. Urghhhhh!!!

Since I was the system administrator for the company’s recruiting system since 2004, my boss sent me to Stamford for a 2-day training for the new version of the recruiting system in May of 2005. My very first business trip out East. I always want to visit the headquarters. I stayed at the Westin and it was totally different from the Westin in S’pore. It was not what I expected. Service was super good, food was so-so, and the gym was definitely superb. I hit the gym the day I arrived since it was raining like crazy.

My next business trip was in July, 2005. This time I was in Boston, supposedly for 2-days for Business Objects training. Boston is a nice, antique city. I didn’t go anywhere because it was raining again. From the day I arrived till the day I left.

In 2006 I was also promoted to HR Coordinator, Compliance. Yeh, a raise and went up a level and a reorganization within the company and my department reported out to Stamford, CT, the headquarters. Boy, things changed because we were not reporting to the market group anymore.. That means no more employee bonus for us and my job responsibilities changed. My system administrator responsibilities were stripped off which I missed terribly. Oh well, at least I still get to use Business Objects and use the recruiting system for writing affirmative action plans purposes.

(To be continued….)

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Also, in the same year, DB got laid off and that was where all hell broke loose. Could not remember how many times we were arguing. Here I am trying to get a degree and he was all depressed about losing his job. His drinking was already bad enough, but after being laid off, it went downhill. I swear to God, I wanted him dead. His only remedy to stay sane, according to him was booze. He was so boozed up, I gave up in trying to console him. My only way of staying sane was running and smoked like a chimney. I ate but didn’t have the appetite. Seeing DB feeling sorry for himself and was angry all the time, drove me up the frigging wall. Told his daughter it was no sense coming over to see her dad. She will be sick to the stomach.

Like it was not bad enough as money was already running low because DB could not apply for unemployment due to him on severance, Ranger had to go to doggie ER. That cost us a bomb $3K. DB took whatever savings he had, even his 401K to pay for medical bills. We could not give him back to his breeder. The bond was there between us.

I was still enrolled at UOP for my fall classes. DB was still drinking away. Whatever money that was left and credit card bills were piling. Asked him if mortgage bills were paid, he said yes. I was doing my class assignments, and DB would be drinking and watching DVDs and I would here thuds here and there everyday. Initially I was concerned, I would run out to see what happened, but after a while, I got sick of it. DB did it to himself from drinking. I didn’t give a rat’s ass. The only time I went out to see what the hell was going on was he felled on the coffee table and blood was gushing from his hand. He didn’t want to go to the ER, so I had to tend to him. Thought that would taught him a lesson, but hell no.

His drinking continued. He even called me at work to stop and get him booze. I thought I should not get him any, but if I didn’t, I would get a good a fight with him. So I did. He would past out all the time and was hardly eating. I would be out running with the boys and stopped over at our friend’s house, Dok and Dorothy, have couple of smokes and told them what the hell is wrong with DB.

On July 1, I went over to the friend’s house as she told me to, I told them that DB is getting worse day by day. Dok said he will stop over the next day to chew DB’s ass. I said “Please, do so.” When I got home, DB was already out to hell. Took my shower, did my Pilates and went to bed. In the morning, July 2 before I left for work, DB was up which was very unusual, told him Dok will be coming over in the afternoon. I left the house in a heart beat. Could not stand him no more.

I was happier at work, glad to be at work and hated the thought of going home to the brewery. At 1 pm got a call from DB’s cellphone and it Dorothy. Told me I better come home now. Told me that DB collapsed, laying on the floor and could not move. When I got home, I had to call paramedics; cops came and paramedics finally came without the siren on. His alcohol level was so high, he could have died. He was pickled good.

Took him to Fairview Ridges and he was in detox and was on heavy duty drugs to knock him out for his withdrawals. It was hell. The thoughts of leaving him came in again, but now he hit rock bottom, finally. I hung on – marriage vows, you know, for better or worse, till death do us part.

I went through the whole house – clean it and got rid of the brewery smell. Went through the bills that were all over the basement. It was bad. Statements from credit collection agencies, mortgage company, county Sheriff office for sale of foreclosure, you name it, we were in deep shit. Called my boss and asked him what I should do. He told me to call a bankruptcy attorney and file for one.

At the same time, I was back and forth the hospital and home settling utility bills before they cut them off. Search the entire house for booze bottles. Search the web for alcoholics’ co-dependency. Went for alcohol co-dependent meetings and work at the same time. Packed a bag and left it in my office for just in case thing. DB was discharged after 8 days in the hospital but had to go for his PT/OT rehab. He was admitted at the rehab after much persuasion. He spent 5 days at rehab.

The day he got home, he was a changed person. I repeated to him that if he drinks again, I will be out of the house as I’m not going through this crap again. I think it hit him too how much I had done for him when he was in the hospital and rehab. I could have left him at both places by himself.

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What have I done in these 10 years I have been here? Let’s see if I can recall them.

I had lots of drinking sessions with Kay whenever DB and I were down in Rochester. There were always something going on when we were at Kay’s. The most memorable occasion was Valentine’s day of 1998, the three of us were drinking away – totally hammered, Kay and I were doing some sort of stretches and I was doing my usual splits. Guess where I landed. Yeah, my ass landed on the floor ok, but something else landed on the floor, too. My chin took a good hit on the kitchen floor and it busted opened. It was gushing blood. All three of us went to St. Mary’s hospital ER smelling like a brewery. I was so hammered when the nurse asked me for my social security number, I could not remember.

The resident did a good job in sewing my chin up with 16 stitches. I made a lot of trips to Kay’s when DB was in Thailand. Kay was DB’s best friend. They knew each other since 1978 during the great flood in Rochester. Each time we visited her, she would update us on what’s going on with their friends. In December 23, 1999, Kay called and said she was having the cold. She said she felt horrible, will be going to make a hot toddy and go to bed. The next night we were watching movies in the basement and Alex called and told us that Kay died in her sleep. Marge, Kay’s downstairs neighbor, found Kay on her bed still sleeping and tried waking her up, but she was already gone. What a bummer. Our connection to Rochester has departed the world. She had a major aneurysm in her brain that kicked her butt.

After Kay died, we only went to Rochester once a year to see the accountant to file our taxes. Now, we only have to mail the stuff to him and everything is online.

No more drinking sessions with Kay, but DB and I had our drinking session up in the cities. I acquired the taste for good old beer; my favorite was MGD light. Also, I was into Windsor, DB’s favorite dose of antidote for everything. I can’t even remember times I was drunk as a skunk, so drunk you can’t remember shit.

We bought our first home in July of 1999. We lived in a nice neighborhood with very nosy neighbors. I mean they were so nosy they had to ask the other neighbors what the hell is going on with this person. There were quite a bit of drinking sessions at home especially when his daughter and friends showed up at our house.

In June of 2000, I told DB I wanted a dog since he was constantly out of the country. Thus in August, he drove all way to Maple Grove and brought home Moose which we changed his name to Super Cooper. That little bugger was a whiner from the day DB picked him up until today. We then had to change our schedule a little as this little puppy was an attention seeker. Yeah, we know, puppies are like babies. Well, we did the usual thing; get up in the middle of night for his potty. We took him for puppy obedience classes; I walked him twice a day; taught him to fetch; more obedience classes and bird and gun training. With all these training he had, he graduate doggie college. Yeehah, our “boy” graduated!!

In 2001 through 2002 I started school at a local community college. But before I could take any 1000 courses, I need to take those pre-requisite classes. Crap!!! No choice, pre-requisite classes they were and started gluing myself to the books, but it doesn’t mean the drinking sessions stopped!! I am still wondering how in the world I passed my classes. However, when I took my Math classes, I quit my hard liquor, just beer during the weekends and that was only occasionally during holidays and days off.

In 2003 which I have to say was my worst year, I enrolled at University of Phoenix Online (UOP) for a BA in business administration. Each course was 5 weeks long, speaking of accelerated. All beer and any sort of wine cooler drinking were over for me. All I had was good old H20. Took two courses for the spring semester. It was fun but very stressful. I still those late nights staying up till 2 am to complete my assignments.

Also in the same year, we adopted Ranger, the Fart Monster from Kaos Kennel where Coops went for his obedience and bird and gun training. Ranger was neglected when he was a puppy till he was an adult (1 year old). His previous owner called the breeder (Kaos Kennel) told them they could not handle him anymore – too aggressive with children. Wonder why?? He had no attended any obedience classes and no human contact except a bucket of food and water in the backyard.

Since Ranger was not used to fetching, I had to walk him. So, I started them both at the same time and it was like an expedition walking them. Ranger loves his walks. From walks I started running them so I can get it done sooner. That was how I got addicted to running. I would run whether rain, shine or snow. I took them to the hiking trails and I just loved it. Why, coz I was burning more energy and I was losing weight and so were the boys. Running became a routine for the three of us. I would get up at 6 am to run them in the summer. Oh yeah, I was hooked to running – the farther the better.

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Ai-yah brother and I met yesterday at Sambol Restaurant. My boss told me to take my time. Nice, huh? Before I left my work parking lot, I wondering what in the world am I gonna talk to him about – school, music, work and what else?

Got to the restaurant, a table and waited about 5 minutes and he showed up. When I saw him walked in, I waved to him, like I have met him before! It was spontaneous. We shook hands, and the first thing that came out his mouth was “It’s so cold. How can you live in this cold?” I find it funny. He had his snow cap on and his coat. As soon as we sat down, we started chatting till we got out of the restaurant.

Here I am worrying about what to talk about. Our conversations started from our father, father’s recent surgery, our lives – when we got to the States, cousins in Ipoh and US, relatives, his siblings, me, my schooling, work, his work as a consultant, and to the major subject – MUSIC. We spent at least an hour chatting about music. He gave me a CD on Bach’s Well-Tempered Clavier. He told me to expect music books from him. Yeeeeehah!! Boy, this guy is well educated in the subject of music. Being an engineer, he analyzes the pieces he plays. I don’t do that. The only thing I ever analyze is augmentation – change to a different key. We even talked about Bela Bartok’s Mikrokosmos – Bela Bartok’s method of piano teaching.

I thought I would be bored – but heck, no. I was so enthused by his excitement when he talks about his work, music and school. Of course, when we touched the subject on our own families, we were more cautious of what we were telling each other. It was weird that we hardly mentioned our mothers. It is actually kinda strange to even mention our mother in our conversations.

We were so engrossed in chatting, he was actually running late. The POS camera I brought along was long forgotten. When we got to our cars, he showed me his music notes and the books he uses to teach his neighbor’s kid. He mentioned he will be back in Minneapolis again and many more if the client accepts their proposal. We then said our goodbyes, shook hands again and wished him a safe flight home.

My impression of him in his emails was kinda snotty, however, meeting him in person, I was so wrong. When I told him the tab is on me, he told me the tradition is elder brothers or sisters always pay for the younger brothers and sisters. Huh?? I told him I have never heard of that. He said I don’t have to pay anything when I’m dining with him.

He kept telling me I should visit him in Boston. Hey, I have been to Boston once, and I like that city – it’s very old and historic. Who knows, one of these days I might take a few days off and fly over to Boston and feast on great seafood.

Overall the get-together was worthwhile. It’s definitely nice to put a face to the emails I have been receiving for 7 months.

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It will be 10 years on Saturday, January 20th, I have lived in Minnesota. So much has happened in 10 years. It doesn’t seemed that long though. 10 years flew by very quickly – year by year.

I still remember my first 3-week trip to MN was in 1996 during the week of Halloween. The entire city, everywhere was white and it was freaking cold. Went to Rochester and visited DB’s friends. What we did there??? Hummmm, lets see if I remember them. Dressed up as biker girl, drank, dance, party, ate and sat next to the fireplace as much as I can. Next day, can’t remember much. All I remembered was everyone in the party were nursing their hangovers.

Came back to MN for good on January 20, 1997. The weather was worse. I remembered DB told me it was 20 degrees, snowing heavily when he picked me up from the airport and I was shivering – cold to the bones. The heater in the house was set to 76 and I was still cold. DB was roasting and I was wrapped in heavy blankets.

Got a job at where DB was working through a temporary agency. Job title – Production Operator. It was actually really neat. Didn’t expect it to be that fun. 90% of the operators on the production floor has black hair. They all thought I don’t speak English so they spoke really slow when they talked to me. Many of them spoke to me in Vietnamese.  Surprised them a little when I told them I’m not Vietnamese or Cambodian or Thai.  All was so inquisitive about me…new kid on the block, what to do, must tell them the story minus other stuff. Gotta “ying chau” (entertain) a bit.

I learned how parts were made, sorted, tested, packed, vacumn sealed and shipping. Brand new world. Had great “teachers”. Learned to eat Cambodian, Loatian, Vietnamese and Thai food from the other operators.

Worked there for 7 months and the company had a RIF – reduction in force. Temps were first to go. Out I went and came back to Ipoh for 3 months. “Leong tei koon” (jobless) what else to do, so DB said go back to my mom and visit him in Bangkok at the same time. That’s what I did.

Came back and landed a job at a travel company. Worked for a wicked witch of the west. She is one heck of a woman – she really knows how to belittle a person. I have never worked for a boss that was so hard to please. She was domineering and a Ms. Perfect all the way to my clothes, too. No blue jeans on Fridays. I told myself if I can work for her, I can work for any person out there. Worked for that bitch for 1 plus years and I had it with her bitching all day long and even when she was in Europe, Russia or South America, she still calls me and wants to know what I was doing. I said goodbye to the wicked witch in February of 2000.

Got a temp job at my current company and have been there ever since. Great company, bosses and coworkers were wonderful. The work environment is just so peaceful. Everyone is pretty much business casual except for the top dogs, but still, we are allow to wear jeans on Fridays, blue jeans on top of that!

Moved up several times working for the same department, Compliance. I totally like what I’m doing on equal employment opportunity. I was the system administrator for our recruiting system but the center of excellence took over – one recruiting system for the entire company globally. Missed that a lot, but it gives me more opportunity to touch on affirmative action and writing the plans.

That’s all I have accomplished for 10 years in this Land of 10,000 Lakes.

(To be continued…gotta go sleep now)